


Rely on You

by anniesardors



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Missing Scene, Worried Hailey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anniesardors/pseuds/anniesardors
Summary: When you love someone, you worry about them. It’s part of the deal.(AKA A two-part story of missing scenes from 8x06 and 8x07 where Hailey worries about Jay)
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 8
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We are one week away from One Chicago being back so it seemed like a great time to post this missing scene from 8x06! Big thanks to the anon on Tumblr who prompted this fic! I got a similar request for a missing scene from 8x07, so this fic will be a two-parter and part 2 will be posted in a few days!
> 
> The title comes from the song "Rely" by flor.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

When they finally get in the truck to go home that night, Hailey can feel the tiredness in her bones. She looks over to Jay in the front seat and sees the exhaustion in his eyes and the tension in his jaw and it hurts her to know how much all of this must be weighing on him.

Jay arrested Latrell a little over two hours ago. He has been pushing himself to the limit this entire case and while he has not outright said it, it is clear that something about this case hits personally for him. Every night they have spent together during this case, he has been a little bit quieter than normal and when she has glanced up at him from her desk during the workday, she could see that his mind was somewhere else.

He doesn't talk after they make the arrest. Jay brings Latrell in quietly and lets Trudy process him. Latrell lawyered up right away and Hailey is sure that was Jay's doing. There is not much they can do until the next day when his lawyer is present. So, they leave Latrell in a holding cell and they leave for the night.

The entire drive back to her apartment, Hailey's mind is running a million miles a minute. He's got that look in his eye, the one that has scared her from the very beginning. She knows that some cases make his large heart bleed in a way he can't control. It's in those cases she is scared that he will spiral, that he will lose himself in the pain.

Of course, she trusts him. She knows he is a different cop now and he is not going to spiral. The rational part of her brain tells her that it's just this case getting to him, but a larger part of herself can't stop from worrying about him.

When they get to Hailey's apartment, Jay is slow to move. He doesn't turn off the truck and just watches Hailey as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

"I was thinking maybe I'd stay at my place tonight. I'm honestly exhausted."

The exhaustion is not a lie. It is written all over his face how tired he is, but something about his words just do not sit right with her.

"Jay, I know this case-"

"Hailey," He cuts her off gently. "I'm fine, I promise. I'm just tired."

She sighs, reaching over the center console to rest her hand on his knee. "I'm going to tell you this in the kindest way possible. You're a really bad liar."

He starts to protest, but she does not give him the chance, giving his knee a squeeze before saying, "I don't care if we sit in silence all night. But Jay, I know you. I know this one hurts. Please just let me help."

At first, he does not say anything, but after a few moments, she feels his hand come to rest on hers and he gives her a silent nod.

The walk up to her apartment is quiet and she is thankful that when they get out of the car, he links their hands and never lets go. When they walk through her apartment door, she has to all but force him to get in the shower, convincing him that washing off the day will be good for him. She offers to make dinner while he decompresses, to which he gives her a small, appreciative smile.

She changes into leggings and one of his old sweatshirts that he wore a few days ago before returning to the kitchen to rummage through her fridge and try to throw something together. There is not much and she makes a mental note that they need to venture out of this apartment and go grocery shopping one day, but for tonight, she heats up the pasta they made two nights ago. She plates the food and gets them drinks before going to sit on one of the two stools at her kitchen island.

He strolls out a few minutes later looking a bit more relaxed, with wet hair and a slightly red face. In the few weeks they have been together, she has learned that after he washes his hair, it is slightly wavy, a mixture of the lack of product and the water, and she secretly loves that look on him. He has changed into a gray t-shirt and black joggers and it is clear the shower helped him.

"Hmm looks good." He says as he comes to sit next to her, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm running low on food." She chuckles lightly as he begins to eat. "One of these days we might actually need to hit up a grocery store. Unless you want to just keep living on takeout."

"This weekend then."

A small smile grows on her lips at the idea of spending yet another weekend together, but honestly, at this point, there is no question that they will spend the majority of their off time together.

They eat in silence for a few minutes, Jay practically inhaling his food and it is clear to Hailey that he has not eaten all day, the stress of the case too much on him. He did not eat breakfast that morning before they left, telling her he just wasn't feeling it. That afternoon, she pulled him into the locker room and tried to get him to take at least a few bites of a granola bar, but he just shook his head, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead and whispering "I'm fine" before slipping back into the bullpen.

It's one of the signs that the case is getting to be too much for him: he does not eat. When the stress overtakes his body and the case weighs too much on his mind, he does not eat and he does not sleep well and he retreats into himself.

But today, he is eating pasta and last night, while he tossed and turned, she knows he got at least a few hours of sleep next to her. And she hopes that he won't withdraw this time, that he will open up to her.

She takes their plates and puts them in the dishwasher, before grabbing his hand and leading him silently to the couch. As he sits down, she unconsciously curls into his side, his arm wrapping around her back and pulling her ever closer. She rests her hand on his thigh, rubbing it gently as he mimics the motion on her back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She whispers into the silence after a while.

Jay sighs and she can feel the movement of his chest against her body. "No….but I know I should."

"I'm not going to push you." She says. "I'm here whenever you're ready."

He presses a light kiss on the top of her head, whispering into her hair. "Thank you."

Hailey just keeps rubbing his thigh, letting him know that she is there and she supports him, even if they are not talking. She does not know how long they sit there like that, her rubbing his leg, him rubbing her back, his cheek pressed against the top of her head before he finally talks.

"He reminded me of my dad." A small whisper comes from Jay, prompting Hailey to look up at him, her eyes silently pleading with him to continue.

"Latrell wanted what was best for his son," Jay explains. "My dad…my dad was a lot of things, but at the end of the day, he wanted what was best for me and Will."

"You miss him," Hailey says, and it's not so much a question, more an observation.

"Yeah...I know we didn't have a good relationship, but I guess I always thought there would be more time. I mean the last thing I said to him was just so awful and...I guess I was trying to make up for it all with Latrell."

Hailey reaches for his hand, intertwining their fingers and giving his hand a supportive squeeze. She knows his last conversation with his father weighs on him to this day and while he has made peace with his father's passing, he still wishes he could have done things differently.

"You are a good son," Hailey tells him, her eyes connected with his. "You love your dad so much. He knew that."

"I don't know." He murmurs.

"You were willing to get shot to get the guy responsible for his death." Her voice is fervent, an obvious need for him to understand what she is saying. "I know I always give you a hard time about getting shot, but Jay, you've got to love someone a lot to take a bullet for them. Your dad knew, trust me."

He kisses her gently and whispers "Thank you" against her lips as he tightens his grip on her.

"I get what he was doing," Jay says. "He was a grieving father in a tough spot and he just wanted to make things right. I don't think I would have acted too different."

She looks up at him, this tough-as-nails cop, a war vet who looks terrifying at first glance, and she knows the truth. For as strong as he is, he has a heart of gold and it bleeds for all of the victims they work with. There is something deep in him that wants to right every wrong and serve justice in any way possible and she thinks it is one of the things she loves most about him.

"I know," Hailey tells him. "You're a good cop, Jay. You're a good man."

He does not respond to her words, but by the way he squeezes her hand, she knows he has heard her. She has accepted the fact that he will never quite see himself the way she sees him-an amazing man with a good heart-but that does not mean she will ever stop trying to help him see exactly what she knows to be true.

Jay removes his hand from her back and lifts her up and off him slightly, standing up from the couch and moving to her bedroom. Hailey just watches him in question until he comes back, sitting down on the couch, his back hunched over, his wallet in his hands. Hailey sits up next to him, her hand protectively moving to rest on his back.

He opens up his wallet and digs around for a second, before taking out a folded old photo. As he unfolds it, Hailey can see worn-out colors and ripped edges, but what really catches her eye is her partner's familiar smile, only on a much younger face.

She does not have to ask him who it is in the picture. She knows. On the right, there is a smaller version of her boyfriend, a wide smile on his face. He is still freckled and his green eyes still shine. His hair was wavier back then and she thinks that it resembles the way his hair looks now after he has had a shower.

The bright red hair on the little boy on the left side of the photo is a clear giveaway that the other boy is Will. His hair is a messy mop on his head and his toothless smile is large, but clearly Will's. In between the two boys is a tall man, probably in his late thirties, with green eyes and a large smile.

"My mom took this photo," Jay explains. "We were up at the cabin. I was seven. Will had just turned eight."

"You were adorable." Hailey hums.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She confirms, leaning in closer to him, her hand moving to his shoulder. "Like super cute. Look at those freckles."

"I still have them."

"I know." Hailey smiles, her hand moving to his cheek to graze a few of his freckles. "And I love them. You're still very cute."

"Yeah, well don't tell anyone that." He jokes and she is happy he is slowly starting to return to his normal self. "Anyone asks, I'm devilishly handsome."

"Well, I think you're both."

He just chuckles, turning to kiss her forehead, before returning his attention back to the photo. "He tried to teach us how to fish that year. Will and I were so excited. My mom figured she would get a picture because it was one of the few times we would both willingly smile."

Hailey places her hand over his, steadying the picture, and focuses on the smiles of the two boys. They look so happy, so excited for a day of fishing with their father that their energy practically jumps from the photo.

"I was so bad at it," Jay says with a laugh. "The pole was way too big for me, but I really tried. We spent a couple of hours out there. My dad didn't even try to fish, he just tried to make sure Will and I didn't injure ourselves. My mom just watched the whole time and laughed."

"Did you catch anything?"

"Will caught a log. That's about it."

Hailey laughs at the story of the two boys with their father, imagining a much smaller version of her boyfriend trying to wield a fishing rod, determined as ever.

"I know our relationship was….complicated," Jay says with a sigh. "I mean, he would piss me off more than anyone else. He had his moments, you know? Where he was just angry or mean, but…"

"But he was your dad?" She finishes his thought, and he gives her a nod.

"He had his good moments too."

"Thanks for sharing that with me." Hailey whispers, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for listening."

He places the photo on her coffee table before leaning back on the couch, reaching out his arm to bring her with him, pulling her to lay on his chest. He lets the silence surround them for a moment before he starts telling her another story about when he was a teenager and his dad let him fix up some cars with him.

She listens intently throughout the whole night as Jay tells her stories of his father. Of fixing cars and fishing trips and family dinners and everything in between. They stay on the couch for a while, wrapped up in each other, as Jay softly tells her stories and Hailey silently supports him.

She doesn't know what time it is when they finally fall asleep on the couch, but she knows that he sleeps the whole night without tossing or turning. There are no nightmares and he gets real restful sleep.

Normally when a case gets to him, he does not eat, he does not sleep, and he pulls away.

But today he ate, he slept, and he let her in. And for that, she is beyond thankful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more day until One Chicago is back! Thank you all for the kind reception to part one of this fic! Big shout out to TixaS who requested this chapter of the fic! Thanks, friend! Hope you all enjoy it!

The second they are back at the district, she all but pulls him into the wire room, immediately shutting the door before she breaks down.

She needs a minute. Just a minute alone with him to remind her that he is alive.

Less than an hour ago, Adam and Jay were set to do an undercover buy, but the buy went horribly wrong, a drive-by shooting killing the two men they were buying from and almost killing Jay and Adam. Hailey had been in a car with Voight several blocks away as back up and the second she heard Kim's terrified voice over the radio, yelling that shots had been fired at their two undercover officers, Hailey's stomach dropped.

The next few minutes went in slow motion. Voight threw the car in drive and they sped towards the sight of the buy as Hailey stared at her radio, praying for an update. All she could think was that she could not lose him, not like this.

Those 30 seconds waiting for confirmation about Jay and Adam felt like 30 years and when Kim's voice broke through the radio again, confirming that the two officers were not injured, Hailey let out a relieved sigh, wanting to cry from joy.

When she saw Jay at the crime scene, she wanted nothing more than to tackle him in a hug and hold him tight, but she knew it was not the time or place. They still had not told their friends about their relationship and they needed to keep the PDA at work to a minimum.

As Jay and Hailey walked off from the scene, she only had enough time to gently whisper, "Are you okay?" before they were caught up talking to other police officers, trying to get pod footage and identify any potential witnesses.

So, by the time they make it back to the 21st district, Hailey can not wait anymore. She bypasses the locker room, knowing that Adam will go there eventually to get changed out of his undercover get-up. Hailey drags Jay to the wire room, closing the doors and making sure no one is around before she hugs him tightly.

"I'm okay." He whispers into her hair. "I'm okay."

"I thought you were dead." She mumbles into his chest, gripping him even tighter. Her arms wrap around his back, trying desperately to hold more of him, her hands pressed firmly against him to ground her. She just needs to hold him, to feel him, to remember that he is still alive.

It's his first near-death experience since they started dating and Hailey did not realize how much it was going to affect her. Losing Jay at any point of their partnership would have hurt, but now? Now, knowing what it is like to kiss him and love him, she does not know how she would survive losing him now.

The minute that 10-1 call came through the radio, all she could think was that she just got him. She could not lose him now.

"I'm sorry," He leans back from her, so she can see the truthfulness in his eyes. She protests, wanting to be as close to him as possible, but he uses his strong arms to anchor her in place.

Eventually, she sighs in defeat. "New rule. You're not allowed to get shot at anymore."

He chuckles, rubbing her back gently. "I swear, I'm not trying to get shot."

"I'm bubble wrapping you and keeping you at home. I'm really over this whole 'you almost getting killed' thing. You're going to give me a heart attack, I swear."

He laughs at the way she says it so seriously, but Hailey means every word. If she could keep him safe at home, she would. While she loves seeing him in action, right now she would not mind if he never did anything remotely exciting ever again, because it would mean he would still be in one piece.

There is a soft look on his face and he is clearly affected by the overwhelming worry she has right now. "I'm sorry I scared you."

She feels silly because the danger is a normal part of their job. It has been something she has been able to deal with so well during her years with the CPD, but now, it hits her differently. Now, she has something so incredibly important to her and with one wrong step, she could lose him. She trusts him with everything in her, but ever since he kissed her in that bar just a few weeks ago, she has been more nervous about his every move.

With every passing day, she is more nervous about losing him, because, with every passing day, she is falling deeper in love with him.

"It's not your fault." She hides her face in his chest yet again and this time, he just lets her. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

He uses his hand to cup her cheek, tilting her face to look up at him. "Nothing is going to happen to me. To either of us. I am going to do everything I can to make sure that we both go home safe every day. I promise."

"Jay-" She starts to argue, but he is having none of it.

"I did not wait years to kiss you just to get shot three weeks later." There is a dopey, playful smile on his face, but she knows he is being serious. "I fully plan on us being ridiculously happy for a long time. Nothing is getting in the way of that. No criminals, no bullets, nothing."

"A long time, huh?" She teases him with a watery chuckle, leaning back in his embrace. In the few weeks they have been together, they have not seriously talked about the future, but the idea of a long time with him, it sits well with her.

"That's the part that you want to focus on?" He rolls his eyes. "I say this whole nice, sweet thing and-"

She kisses him softly to quiet him and he happily complies, humming against her lips. The kiss is short, but when she pulls back, he is all smiles.

"I like the idea of a long time." She whispers shyly, her hand coming to rest on his chest, right above his heart.

"Good. Because you're stuck with me for the foreseeable future."

She laughs, shaking her head as she starts to pull away. They have been gone for a few minutes and she is sure that by this point, Adam, Kim, and Kevin are back in the bullpen and are wondering where they are. The last thing they need is questions about what they were doing in the backroom.

But as she starts to remove herself from his embrace, he grabs her wrist and tightens his other arm around her waist, keeping her close to him.

"I'm serious, Hailey." He says softly. "I might not have the greatest track record with injuries, but I am not going to get myself killed. I've wanted to be with you for so long and now that I've got you, I'm not going to mess this up."

"Me either," She breathes out. "You're stuck with me too."

"Good." He says, pressing a feather-light kiss to her forehead before grabbing her hand to pull her towards the door. He shoots her one last sweet smile before he releases his hold on her and they make their way back to their coworkers, hopeful that they won't say anything about how long they were gone.

As they sit down at their desks and he shoots her yet another reassuring smile, she knows she is probably never going to stop worrying about this man in front of her. But if that is the cost of having a long, ridiculously happy life with him, she thinks she can deal with a little bit of worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews?
> 
> Follow me on tumblr anniesardors for more fics, to leave prompts, or to talk anything upstead
> 
> Part 2, a missing scene from 8x07, will posted in a few days, so stay tuned!


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